Amazing Pregnancy and Parenting

This month I am writing in honor of my mother, Patricia Ann Williams, who passed away on March 3, 2006. I would love to share with you how wonderful and special she was.

My mom was the epitome of love. She was soft and gentle, loving and kind, and always wanted to know that we (her five children) were doing well. Her heart was so big that she had oodles of “adopted children” in the world, who just needed another “mom” and wanted ours. Mom loved to be out in the sunshine, especially with flowers, watering, and making things green and beautiful. She also loved to cook and enjoyed music. Her heart was so giving and nurturing. I don’t know one person who didn’t like my mom, and I don’t know one person who wasn’t better for having known her. She was fun and full of spunk. She loved to play games/cards, and loved to be with her grandkids. I can’t even begin to express how much I love my mom. How many times I cried at just the thought that she would ever be gone, and now she is. How do you go on without your mother? I’m told that somehow you just do.  

Since my mom’s passing, I have spent some precious time connecting to her energy and her love, the memories, and looking at how my life has been and will be affected by her life, as well as her death. In this time, I found myself asking questions, including why life was set up in such a way that we experience this painful thing called death, and why is it so painful, when we all know it’s coming? I was amazed when the answer simply showed up …….. “It was never intended to be a painful disconnection. In truth, the connection never dies. The physical experience is a playground for fun and learning. It is not who we are. We all come from spirit and never stop being who we are ~ spirit. Our spirits are always connected ~ in and out of the physical world. It’s just that over time, people began believing that we were all separate. When you believe you are separate, it does feel like you have lost something when your loved one dies. However, if you know that you are always connected, you realize that it is only the physicality of that life that has ended, not the life itself.”

What my mom wanted me to know, and what I now share with you, is that our connection and our love with each other never dies. As we live our lives, the essence of who we are is our spirit, not our body. That’s why a person no longer looks like the person you knew once they have passed away. Their spirit leaves the body and continues to live. How many times have you gotten that feeling or hunch or felt like someone was somehow talking to you, but there was no one there? That is our spirit being guided by our loved ones. Love never dies, nor does the spirit. While I must still mourn the loss of my mother in the physical aspect of my life, I do feel her spirit and the essence of who she is by my side each and every day. I find peace in having her near, guiding and loving me.  

For those of you who have wondered about these things, know that your loved ones, while you may not be able to see or touch them, are by your side, loving and guiding you every step of the way. Your spirits are connected and always will be. When you feel that hunch or get that familiar feeling, it’s their way of letting you know they are right there beside you. Receive the love. It’s a beautiful thing.

Thank you, mom, for teaching me how to love and for being so loving in everything you did. You are my inspiration as a mother and a teacher, and I am forever grateful to be your daughter.

May we all find peace in the fact that we are never alone and we are always loved.

Traci L. Gaffney 800-647-1171 www.alovingway.com

In Her Honor Neighbors Newspaper, April 2006 Family Forum Column

Welcome to the month of March! Spring is around the corner and some of our flowers have begun to bloom. How exciting is that!  

I decided to write this month’s article on the topic of pregnancy and babies, something else that is always in bloom. I am passionate about children, especially about meeting their emotional needs, and have been actively involved in this area for more than 17 years. I love to share what I have learned.  

Many families do not realize this, but babies are aware of their experience and what happens around them well beforebirth. More and more, studies are providing information that supports the fact that our babies need love, connection and a relationship during the pregnancy months. Currently, we make plans, paint rooms, buy furniture, and do all of the customary preparations for our new arrival. However, we often miss the opportunity of bonding with them for those nine or ten months prior to birth. With everything else we have to do, including caring for other children and our jobs, it might seem overwhelming to even think about having to “do” another thing!  

I have good news! It’s easy and it’s fun. And the value …. priceless!  Moms, dads and even siblings can all build a relationship early! When your little one arrives, you will just be EXPANDING your already developed relationship, as opposed to starting one from scratch. (Imagine how this changes the impact on your home in the first few months after birth.)

Now you may ask, “How do I bond with someone I can’t see, touch or hear?” This might seem especially difficult for dads and siblings who can’t really even feel the baby most of the time. Well, you can start with the pokey little feet. We’ve all seen those! The next time you see little feet pushing on mommy’s tummy, gently push back. The message, in many cases, is, “Hello! Can you play?” It’s quite cool when you realize that you are responding to each other. Talk about a happy baby!

You can also listen to soothing music at night when you go to bed. Spend this time thinking about your little one, sharing a feeling of calm and love. All of you will relax into a wonderful night sleep. You can also write letters or cards of love to your baby to inform them of special events (doctors visit, a painted room, siblings award, etc.) or just to say “I love you!” It’s about including the baby. The baby FEELS the shift in YOUR energy, and FEELS loved and safe.  

Siblings can draw pictures for the baby’s room or the baby book. And, be sure to allow them the opportunity to actually present the picture to their little brother or sister, as the baby will receive the energy and the feelings of love and excitement. The key is in the energy and feelings that are being conveyed. You would be AMAZED at what babies are able to FEEL in utero!  

Give it a try. Begin bonding with your new baby right now. It’s so worth it! You will enjoy this time so much more, and I GUARANTEE you that your little one will enjoy every single minute of your time and your love received in the womb. You will get that love back a million times over during your lifetime!

If you would like additional information or ideas, or if you are having a particularly difficult pregnancy, please feel free to contact me at tracigaffney@alovingway.com.

Here’s to healthy children and happy families.

Traci Gaffney 800-647-1171 www.alovingway.com

Spring is in the Air Neighbors Newspaper, March 2006 Family Forum Column

First, I’d like to start off by saying that the Gratitude Journal I wrote about last month is going quite well at our house. Unbeknownst to us, for Christmas, our first grader made a new 2006 calendar for our family. He did a fantastic job! As soon as I opened that gift, I looked at him and said, “This can be our Gratitude Journal! Is that okay with you?” He smiled warmly and said, “Sure!” And it has been a fun adventure ever since! What we did was paste a piece of colored construction paper on the back of the previous page (the cover, in this case), and wrote “January Gratitudes.” Every day we add to the list. I am amazed at how much fun this is for all of us, to actually write this list and be building something we can see. I would love to hear back from those of you who are creating your own family Gratitude Journals. What are you using? What has your experience been so far?

Okay, now back to Valentines Day …. I will just share two things that I’ve learned over the years. One is about men and one is about kids.

Men: it is my experience that men don’t want to guess what we want for Valentine’s Day. They also don’t like having to figure out “hints.” They want to make us happy. They do not want to get us the wrong thing. My suggestion, if this is true for the man in your life, is that you give him a list of various ideas that would make you happy for Valentine’s Day. Then, let him surprise you with one or more of those choices. Everyone wins, and it sure does alleviate a lot of pressure for the guys!    

As far as kids go, this is a great opportunity to love them too! What about creating a tradition of writing a “Valentine letter” to each of your kids (attaching a nice little candy treat is a fun touch), describing to them how much you love them, what they have contributed and brought into your lives by being here, and anything else that your heart feels in that moment when the pen and paper come together. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to write such a letter to your spouse, boyfriend, parents, or anyone else that you love as well. It’s amazing when we take a moment to actually hand write a letter, we suddenly become connected with our heart, feelings, and love. Depending on the age of the recipient, the letter can be read and cherished, as well as saved as a memory keepsake for a baby book or keepsake chest for years down the road. I find that writing to my children at any time is grounding, centering, and creates connection, peace and harmony at home.   If they are babies, you just save the letters for later. There will be a time in their lives when they are interested in looking through their baby box! What a great gift that will stand the test of time!  

Love is all there really is. All of us get away from that center now and again. Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity for remembering that love is not expensive, it is not hard, and there are no age limits. Love is real, it is deep, and it is priceless.

Here’s to celebrating a Valentine’s Day that warms your heart and makes you happy!

Traci Gaffney 800-647-1171 www.alovingway.com

The Month of Love Neighbors Newspaper, February 2006 Family Forum Column

Hello and Happy New Year! Can you believe we are already in 2006? I remember when I graduated from high school in the early 1980’s. My youngest sister had seven more years of school go to and I thought that was light years away!

As with any new year, we are embarking on fresh new adventures in business, family and fun! Along with those adventures come the dreaded old New Year’s Resolutions. It’s funny how people make their resolutions with such dread, almost as if they know they won’t be able to keep them. It was suggested on a personal development CD that I was listening to recently, that the only goal to set at the beginning of each year is to simply keep the commitments you make during the year. What a concept!

In our home, we spend a lot of time teaching our children how important their word is and how important it is to keep commitments and do what you say you’re going to do. Making this resolution something to be shared with our children (”practice makes permanent”) is a great idea! What better resolution than to keep your word and your commitments. What better way to develop a greater sense of empowerment and honesty in our children, as well as building character and self-confidence.

The other area that we are going to be focusing on as a family in the coming year is gratitude. Currently, we each share one thing that we are grateful for each night at dinner. Gratitude feels great! If you sit down for just three minutes and write down what you are grateful for, it becomes difficult to stop writing! We have trees, breezes, sunshine, friends, beautiful landscaping, husbands, wives, children, freedom, and the list goes on and on. In our family, we will be building a Family Gratitude Journal for 2006. Each of us will add something each day ““ it could be one thing or ten, it doesn’t matter ““ and we will watch our world with joy. I am excited to see what our Journal will look like on December 31, 2006!

Keeping your word and practicing the art of gratitude …… building a solid foundation for today’s youth and their future.

Whatever your resolutions are for 2006, may you find much joy and success in all of your endeavors!

To your prosperity, health and happiness!

Traci Gaffney

Resolutions Gratitude Neighbors Newspaper, January 2006 Family Forum Column

Hello and Happy Holidays! My name is Traci Gaffney. I am the mother of three children, and I am excited to have the privilege of writing The Family Forum column! Before I begin, I would like to wish Tara Rodi and her family well in their new adventures in Washington State, and thank her for sharing with us over the past two years.

With Christmas being just around the corner, I thought it would be appropriate and fun to share with you a simple, inexpensive, yet priceless Christmas gift that we have been giving to our children for the past ten years. You just might want to try this! It is called

You and Me Kid! cards. You and Me Kid! cards can be made out of old or new business cards, 3×5 cards, or any other card stock paper that you choose. They are labeled with the words “You and Me Kid!” and are decorated! They are designed so that kids can just pick up a card, hand it to their parent (or someone else), and have quality one-on-one time at their fingertips! It’s fun to decorate them with sparkles, glitter and markers! You can surprise your kids by making them yourself and putting them in their stockings, or you can make it a family art project. A fun thing to do with them also is to make January cards, February cards, March cards, etc. That way, your kids keep track of which month they are in so they can spend those mom or dad-time cards! It sure feels great when my kids hand me a card. It reminds me to slow down and spend some extra time with them. And, they feel good because it tells them they are important to me. We both win! It takes only a few minutes to fill up their love tanks and they are on their way again, ready to face another adventure. Now, if they happen to catch me at an inopportune time and I really can’t stop in the middle of what I’m doing, I let them know that I must complete this project, and they are next. I make a timed commitment to be with them and I make sure to keep it. (Your ability to do this successfully will depend on the age of your child.) As my oldest son has gotten older, I give him cards with specific activities. He might like to go to the movies, or have his favorite dinner made, or a variety of other things. I change the cards to meet the needs and age of each child. The key is the relationship. Kids want and need to feel loved. I have found quality time to be one of the most valuable ways to meet that need.

You and Me Kid! cards are an enjoyable family tradition in our home. If they make their way into your holiday plans this season, I certainly hope you enjoy making them and you enjoy the together time that is created through them.

May your family have a holiday season blessed with love, peace and quality time together!

Traci Gaffney

You and Me Kid Cards Neighbors Newspaper, December 2005 Family Forum Column