Amazing Pregnancy and Parenting

If all we did today, was feel gratitude and peace within us, we would impact the lives of many children through our energy and love. (Traci Gaffney, 800-647-1171, www.alovingway.com)

Kids grow up fast. We think we have 18 years with our kids at home, and we tend to spread our love, energy and time accordingly. However … have you ever noticed that kids start getting a life of their own much sooner than 18 years old? They start wanting to be with their friends and doing their own thing starting years earlier. We don’t really have 18 years with our kids before they move on; we have more like 12.

So, what I would like to share with you today is the value of embracing every stage in the relationship you have with each of your children. If you are at the stage of sleepless nights and changing diapers, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There will be a time in your life when you will actually get some sleep and not be changing diapers any more. If you spend this time wanting that to come faster, you will actually miss this part of the journey. This is a time when asking for support from friends and family is essential, so you can be fully present for your little one.

For those of you who have an active toddler who runs and talks and asks questions and bubbles over with excitement constantly … rejoice! Yes, it can be tiring, and yes it can seem like forever. However … one day that will be gone too, and the innocence and childlike wonder that you see in your child during these years … that will change. Savor it. Find a way to get your tank filled in other ways, so that you can be there to truly enjoy being present as your child explores his/her world in this way.

If you are a parent who is already experiencing a child who prefers time with friends, simply accept that this is where you are in your journey together, and embrace those pockets of time when your child does still want to be with you. They are finding their individuality. It’s not personal. You can support their growth and individuality, while still being close. It is important that you stay very present to your child at this age. You will need to create guidelines and be the “parent,” while still giving them room to spread their wings. It can be a tricky dance. Awareness and being a conscious parent will make all the difference in the world.

If your child has already reached the point where they are off doing their own thing, and you think you missed something in the previous years … stop where you are and breathe. Ask yourself, “How can I be present NOW?”

The whole point of this article is to share that no matter where you are in the journey of raising your children, you always have now, and you always will. Start as early as possible to connect, to appreciate, and to enjoy the blessings and the gifts of each age ~ no matter how challenging that particular age is. Each stage comes with gifts. And, know that it is never too late to connect with your child ~ never.

My oldest son is 20 years old this month … Happy Birthday Anthony! He started breaking away at 12 years old, and at 14 he was fully in gear for separation from mom. I held tightly when needed, and let go when appropriate. There have been times when I missed my “little guy,” and there were times when I was filled with joy that my son was growing into a man. It’s all good. It’s about being human. This is what being a parent is all about.

The good news … at age 20, who do you think Anthony calls when his prized Bearded Dragon has a baby? Mom! Yippee! Oh, the joys of motherhood.

We are here to love our children, to nurture them, walk with them, let them go, and be there at every turn of their journey in life. Sometimes they will need us more than others. The best thing to do in order to savor the journey, and also to create a lasting, deep relationship, is to be present every day, every week, every month. We never stop being a mom/dad. We never stop being the hub that they can call home. We never leave their heart, and they never leave ours.

What can you do today to appreciate your child in their beauty and their challenge? Ask yourself that question every day, and before you know it, when your child is grown (and it comes very quickly), you will realize that you were there for every step of the way, and didn’t miss a thing! Congratulations! This is true parenthood.

Traci Gaffney is an expert on parenting and pregnancy. To sign up for her free parenting newsletter, go to www.alovingway.com. You can contact Traci directly at tracigaffney@alovingway.com or 800-647-1171.

Amazing parenting includes being Authentic. Kids know … they can just feel it … when we are not “real.” Be authentic.

It doesn’t mean that you share adult themes, or become “friends” instead of the parent, or that you ask for permission, or any of that. It simply means that, as the parent, the adult, you are honest, open, and in your heart with your children … authentic.

Share what you share at an age appropriate level.

Listen (very important) to your kids as well.

Amazing parenting creates a great relationship with your kids through communication and authenticity. This is a way to model for them how to have awesome relationships with others in their life!

Enjoy the “Who I Am” Energy Card for today … “I Am Authentic.”

Have a blessed Monday!

Traci L. Gaffney
A Loving Way
www.alovingway.com
800-647-1171

Today, our “Who I Am” Energy Card is … “I Am Inspired.”

How do your kids inspire you? If you’re not being inspired, how can you be? As parents, we get tired. There’s so much to do. Are you getting enough rest? Are you eating well? Do you have “big people” time? What do you need that would create peace and tranquility? When you have that, you are in a better place to be inspired, and to truly enjoy the journey of parenthood.

If you’re feeling challenged, share your challenges with us. Let’s move through the space so that Inspiration, Peace and Harmony can be the qualities that we experience in our homes with our children.

Look for Inspiration ~ all around you ~ today. It can come as a whisper, and often does.

Traci L. Gaffney
A Loving Way
www.alovingway.com
800-647-1171
info@alovingway.com

“I Am Peaceful” … when you find that you are not feeling very peaceful about parenting, or perhaps in your pregnancy, look at this card, breathe, take yourself to a place of peace within you, and look at your situation from there. What do you need in order to feel peace right now? Ask the question, listen for the answer, and then create that.

Many times, it’s just reaching out to a friend for a conversation, help with a meal, or a 30 minute break for a nap. If your friends knew you needed that, they would want to help you.

Go inside.
Ask the question.
Listen.
Act.

Remember, you came into this world with Peace. It’s there. It may be covered a bit, but it’s there.

Traci L. Gaffney
A Loving Way
www.alovingway.com
800-647-1171

March 2009 Newsletter

This month’s article is entitled “A Great Parent is a Great Listener.” I hope you enjoy it! http://www.alovingway.com/articles/parent_great_listener.htm

March is a special month for me because it is my birthday month! Yippee!!

Three years ago, five days before my birthday, I lost a very dear person in my life … my mother. She died suddenly and I was devastated. I’ve never felt so lost in all my life. It felt as though the umbilical cord of life’s energy had been cut, and I felt every single thing.

My mom had the most beautiful heart and was a wonderful mom and grandma. When March 3rd rolls around each year, my kids and I take some time to talk about “Grandma Pat” and what we miss, what we enjoyed, and how important love and togetherness are.

I was fortunate enough to have the foresight to spend quality time with my mom at every opportunity, because I knew she would one day be gone. Somehow I was gifted with not taking her life for granted. I am so thankful for that gift in my life. We had many cherished moments before she died.

Each of us will eventually be that mom or dad who is leaving our child(ren) behind ~ whether our children are grown or still young.

I suggest asking yourself the following questions, and making whatever adjustments you feel are appropriate …

If I died today, what would I wish I had done with my kids?

What would I wish I had said?

What would I wish I had written for them?

Do they know ~ do they actually HEAR it from me, and EXPERIENCE it from me ~ how much I love them? (In their language of love?)

Do I take time to understand who they are?

Find your curiosity. Learn about this person who has been gifted to you in your parenting life. There is a reason each of your children is in your life. There is a reason you are in theirs.

Take the time today to love them ~ in their way.

Some day they will have to say goodbye to you. Give them the gift of no regrets.

Spend time walking, talking and connecting.

Show them who YOU are so they can share stories about you with their children and grandchildren.

Leave a legacy of love and connection, openness and authenticity, and teach your children how to do the same.

Our children need us to be present for them while we are alive. They need us to connect, to share, to guide, and to listen.

May many blessings be showered upon you and your family.

Namaste’

Traci

Traci Gaffney is a Parenting and Pregnancy Coach, Speaker and Author. She can reached at 800-647-1171 or tracigaffney@alovingway.com. Visit www.alovingway.com today!

Amazing Parenting: I am re-reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Awesome book! I just had to share this piece: “I treat people I love with love because this may be the last day that I can tell you how much I love you. I don’t know if I’m going to see you again, so I don’t want to fight with you.” (page 119)

IF the interaction I am having with my child (and the one you are having with yours) WAS the LAST interaction we’d have with them, how would we be? We can apply this to cleaning bedrooms, doing homework, helping in the kitchen, watching a movie, or simply listening to them share the happenings of their day. It sure makes me get more PRESENT with NOW.

Happy Holidays!

Traci L Gaffney
A Loving Way
A Wellness Advocacy for Children and Parents
800-647-1171
www.alovingway.com

Pregnancy and baby ~ Everything that a mother feels, the baby feels. So, if you are going through stress, know that your baby feels the stress. There is no need to feel guilty about it. Stress is, unfortunately, a part of life. Some have more than others. Finding a way to keep it at a minimum is best, of course.

When it does come up, however, what you want to do is simply be aware that your baby is feeling what you feel. Then, you want to talk to your baby. Let your baby know that you are a little nervous, scared, frustrated, whatever the feeling is, and that it is YOUR stuff, not his/hers. Tell your baby that everything is okay, you are taking care of things, and that he/she can continue to sleep, eat, play, and feel joy. You are giving your baby permission to be who he/she is, and not take on your “baggage.”

I know it seems that the baby couldn’t possibly understand this, but we are talking about ENERGY. We are talking about INTENTION. We are talking about RELATIONSHIP, LOVE. Your baby will receive your energetic message.

And, when you are feeling happy, SHARE that with your baby! Talk to your baby about that too! Describe what it is that you are feeling, why you are feeling it, and rub his/her little feet (if you can feel them) while you do it.

Communication is essential to a healthy relationship with your baby for many years to come.

Traci L. Gaffney
A Loving Way
A Wellness Advocacy for Children and Parents
800-647-1171
www.alovingway.com

Yesterday it dawned on me how quickly Christmas is sneaking up. Not wanting to be behind the eight ball and stressing about the last minute details, I made a note to myself (a fairly LARGE note) that read, “Christmas gifts Thursday and Friday.” So, when I picked my kids up from their Montessori program yesterday, we went straight to our journey of Christmas shopping. What fun we had! The kids make ornaments for family and friends every year. So, we bought plenty of paint, glue and everything we would need, so we can dive in and begin creating. Once our shopping was done, we decided to go on a Christmas light tour. What a beautiful Christmas evening we had! It was filled with the excitement of the holidays. We didn’t have to spend a lot of money. We thought about others and each other. And we saw beautiful, beautiful light displays. I recommend thinking of things your kids can make for gifts, go buy the supplies, find some lit up neighborhoods, and really enjoy the holidays! Those are the memories that will last a lifetime.

Traci Gaffney
A Loving Way ~ A Wellness Advocacy for Children and Parents
www.alovingway.com
800-647-1171

Months of Pregnancy … many people think of this time as the “planning” window for baby’s arrival. Most moms are still working and doing their usual routine. Did you know that this is the opportune time to start building a relationship with your baby? 

Our babies are already here when they are in our belly. They don’t “arrive” when they are born. Right now ~ wherever you are in your pregnancy ~ is the BEST time to start creating a relationship by talking to your baby, rubbing your tummy, playing with his/her feet, and simply sharing those “good feeling” feelings and thoughts. It will do so much for your baby, for your mood, and for your long-term relationship. Have fun!

Written by Traci Gaffney; www.alovingway.com; 800-647-1171; tracigaffney@alovingway.com. Traci is a Parenting/Pregnancy Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Author.